Tomorrow is a realizing and action of struggle and dreams that my sister and I have had for so long. She was tested and found to be Huntington's Free.........and she was the one we thought was sick with it. It was a miracle, it is one. I have never shown signs, and the Nuerologist who saw me in July said i was symptom free at that point and at this age I would be showing signs. He said my brain scan thinger looked great.
BUT we want to do the test to be 100% sure it is the only way! I know in my heart though, I believe it 100% that God has spared us from this monsterous disease that has claimed my mother and so many in my family. When people doubt that God can do amazing things, that Miracles don't really exist, it breaks my heart for them.
I have seen the darkest of things in life, death, disease, sorrow, pain, and tears. BUT I have also seen joy, kindness, selflessness, and most of all love! I have seen the good and the bad, and I have recovered from the broken mess I was once. But I could not do that without God. I hated him when my mother was diagnosed, because I had begged him to not let her be sick like her father. I demanded to know why he had let someone so kind so sweet so loving be sick. I was so hurt, so angry, and I blamed him and blinded myself to the facts that God does have a reason for everything.
People may ask, why? Why did he hurt her? Why does he let anyone get sick? My mother is kind, she is selfless, she has faults like anyone does. But the reason I have come to learn, is that God knew that thru the illness and the pain, the hardship, he would show us what a true Christian is. She loves him, she doesn't blame him, she loves life, and despite her inabilities, she has moved mountains, with her faith in God. He said all you needed was the faith the size of a tiny mustard seed and mountains would move! I understand that now. Its about believing that no matter what happens, in sickness or health, God has a plan a reason for everything!
We just need to keep our eyes on him, and love him, and trust him no matter what the world says. This is such a difficult post for me to make. It really is. BUT the truth is what it is and I need to share this story. What people need to understand is that God is real, and that God is merciful, and that he loves you. Most importantly he sent his son to die for you, and Jesus defeated death for us. He took on our sins, he suffered....he died...and he rose three days later.
I know people probably scoff at me some anyway for my belief, but I really do believe that God has a reason for everything! I tried to pray that Mom would be healed up and I had faith, but sometimes God says no for a reason. I prayed as the years passed, "If you cannot spare my mother, then please let her be the last in this family with Huntingtons Disease." My sister is the first step and such a hopeful one since we thought she was sick. The day she told me that God had spared her and her children, oh it was so amazing so sureal...so wonderful! There was hope again for our future!
I had that hope for myself in July when I talked to the Nuerologist who knew about HD, and he is going to be the one to see me tomorrow. I will get this test, I won't know the results for about a month. BUT I know them already I have faith. I am 33 years old, at this age, my mom sadly began to shake, and fall......and had issues with mental things as well along the way. We ignored it, we tried to deny it. BUT my families eyes are wide open.....and we have learned to not ignore it. We have learned to accept that this disease is there, and that while we hate it with all our being. There is no reason to deny if someone is showing signs. The sooner you find out, the sooner you can start being preventative!
I am asking your prayers, and if you don't believe then your thoughts for my family at this time, and that this test will say I am Negative for Huntingtons Disease. I love you all, and I hope that my story that God wanted me to share does touch someone. I will tell you this. No matter what anyone says period, God's word, the Bible is true and real, doesn't matter how old it is. It also matters that you have faith, and that you believe in his love. Open your heart....it will be the best thing you ever do.
I love you all.